© 2012 kelly mccaleb
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whew. that always takes longer to list all the stuff than i plan on, but i'm done! i decided to list all the accessories this time and save the home stuff for next time because i just wanted to do a little more than i had time to. so there's lots of hair clips, white blessing booties, a quilt, and everything so so yummy. my fave is the crocheted bracelets. go pick something special here. buying handmade is where it's at!
my parents' relationship would never have been described using the words loving or respectful or happy exactly. they were kind of just surviving. but hey, they were married for forty years before she died, so you gotta give them some kind of credit. i was just glad i had both parents growing up, as so many of my friends didn't. but i was, however, well aware of the tension always in my home- and knew i wanted something different, something more.
my idea of a happy marriage was formed and fantasized about every thursday night while watching the cosby show. i wanted to be strong and smart and sassy and respected. i wanted my husband to be funny as all get out, educated, music loving, hands on, and whipped. i wanted to be able to get my husband to do whatever i wanted with one little look. and i wanted him to turn on soulful music and seduce me with funny dances. i wanted to take our gaggle of good but normal kids to jazz concerts, art auctions, and to buy funky sweaters. in short, i wanted to be claire, and i wanted to marry heathcliff.
all of these marital requirements were, of course, subconcious- just childhood admiration of a tv couple. and they were forgotten about when the show was canceled and i started to grow up. until today that is, when i was taking a break from housework and watching the cosby show. and it struck me how similar grant is in his parenting tactics to dr. huxtable. when cate is upset about anything or has done anything wrong, grant tells her a goofy story or example, usually using crazy voices and defuses and teaches through laughter. i then began to make other connections, and decided i got pretty freaking close to my childhood fantasy of a husband. dang it if he doesn't do funny dances for me all the time, and run this house with silly faces and good hands on parenting.
so how am i measuring up to claire? well, my confidence and liberation is full and complete; that is comparable, i suppose. i can't, however, control grant with a look, and i would never call him whipped. and i don't have it quite as "together"; but that's okay because i've learned a few things about reality since those thursday nights of yesteryear: 1. it would be impossible to be a lawyer, have a doctor husband and both always be around to talk to the kids. this part was was not reality. 2. your house would never look that perfect or be that calm and organized with one child, and certainly not with five. this part was not reality. 3. there are real disappointments and disagreements in a marriage that need constant patience and forgiveness from both husband and wife. this part was not shown as much as was a husband that just did as he was told to avoid conflict (and tried to teach elvin to do the same. i loved elvin). that's just not marriage reality (for me anyway!).
what is my reality is two people who respect one another and try to laugh their way through the ups and downs of life while imperfectly teaching their child good principles. and i've learned i don't need to have a career to be complete, and i don't need to control my man to be powerful.
so as i laid on my bed this afternoon watching the cosby show, i decided i will always love them, they were such a great example to me of marital bliss. yes, i love the huxtables... but i'd rather be the mccalebs. any day of the week and twice on thursday.
i had a great first appointment with my new doc today. he looks a little like kelly ripa's husband and i think i love him. anyway, he wants me to start clomid. and although i've never been keen on the clomid idea before, something today told me it's time to give it a whirl. maybe it was just his latin charm. i told him i'd call him when i decide. so today i've been thinking the following three thoughts over and over:
1. it offers the best chance to get pregnant, even possibly with twins!!
2. i am a psycho when any kind of hormonal shifts occur. i cannot even begin to imagine what this particular treatment will do to me. pms has been the thorn in my life's side, and clomid (which goes strait to the hypothalamus to get your hormones screwed up) is sure to make me mental. i really never wanted to take clomid.
3. in my heart, the former now justifies the later. i'm ready. but seriously... look out world!
i just took a prenatal vitamin. i am calling hot dr. kelly ripa's husband in the morning. i will take the clomid. i will beg heavenly father for twins. if he says yes i will regret that later. i will have hope. i will have hope. i will have hope.
we are all grateful for jesus and ready for spring! hope your weekend was lovely too...
i am a total bookaholic. i love them. they are one of my favorite things to thrift for, and i want the main feature of my one day home to be clever design using, and organization of, my books. in my inspiration binder for my someday house i have a whole section called 'living with books', and a folder on my computer named the same. here's some of my favorite spaces i've seen lately that use books as a part of life. (images probably off design sponge, but i never keep track, just cut and paste). enjoy:
