while looking for a different old post, i came across this picture of my husband (center) at scout camp with two of his best friends in the early 90s. every time i see that pic i laugh out loud. and i just wanted to say to j biebs, t swift, and every wedding photog out there- my husband is always way ahead of his time.
i have been thinking a lot about marriage lately. i love my husband so much. that is not to say that we don't have so much to learn about effective communication, or that i don't wish he could clean up his foul mouth (i'll tell you a funny story about cate reading through his texts another time, haha), or that i don't drive him up the wall with female dramatics a lot. but i just really really love him. love is so powerful.
but just like faith without works is dead, love without work dies too. the butterflies that hormonally program the human race to mate and form families soon cease to flutter after the union becomes comfortable, then inevitably challenged. this does not mean that the joining of the pair was wrong or should be over, but is simply the maturation of life; the trying of our convictions; the refining fire that is so necessary to becoming the best versions of ourselves individually and as a couple. in other words, the love needs to grow. stronger. deeper. more experienced.
the world tells us in these difficult periods of growth- when the drought hits or when pruning is needed- it means the "love" is lost and you need to head for the hills and grab a new net for new butterflies.
but i am convinced if you are willing to learn to be unselfish and think of another's comfort before your own, the love can reach up into something heavenly. based on purity and commitment, sacrifice, a thousand forgivenesses, and a mutual desire for good in the home and the world. charity. pure love. it takes serious work and some serious growing pains. and a constant shift in focus from the things of this world, to a hope for the things of a better. i have made this my goal.
i really love you, grant. thank you for leading our little family. (and yes, i can still feel the butterflies).