back story to this post can be found here.
so i'm always talking about how we've been trying to conceive for eight years and i blab a lot about how i've never felt fully convicted that adoption was my path...yet. and i go on and on about finding my life's purpose, because all i want is to be a mom. but then i talk a lot about the loneliness/ worthlessness/ yucky indulgence that i feel being home alone so many hours of the day, with my one little girl off at school.
and prayers. well, they are always answered, but so often not how we think or would like, of course. it's been months since i began feeling strongly to go to graduate school, and to wait and try for more babies in a few years. NOT what i want to do, mind you, but the feeling wouldn't relent. constant! worse than the year it took me to decide to serve a mission. (i'm slow).
i knew i was to get my master's in social work. i felt prompted to look into USC's program (why? we don't live there!), only to find out their MSW program just became virtual. meaning they would allow a small number of students to skype into their classes, and be placed in their field work positions where they live. an adviser would fly out to meet with you each semester and you would video chat with your professors. what?! yes, please! i hate going to class!! i know byu is right here, but i can't go back there. i can't, heaven help me. what about the u of u? hmm, didn't feel right...but heavenly father, usc is too expensive!
i was particularly confused and upset one day walking around a thrift store. so upset i wasn't even looking at anything, i was just wandering and praying in my heart. i was crying, no less. do i really have to do this? is it worth it to get those kind of student loans? will i even get in? holy crap it's the 8th ranked social work school in the nation. can't i please, please just have a baby? as i asked that, tears streaming down my face, my hand ran along a sweater i couldn't resist touching because i could tell by the sleeve it was hand knit in beautiful yarn. i pulled it out. yep. in orem, utah as i was praying, a hand knit usc sweater was put in my hands. that might be a coincidence or meaningless to you- but i'm a knitter you guys, and god gets what that would do to me. with that sweater he told me yes. yes, you can do it. and yes, you will have a baby. later. and yes, it will wear the sweater of your second alma mater. and that vintage byu onsie you love, too.
i got my acceptance letter yesterday. grant brought me home this huge bouquet of flowers wrapped in "crimson and gold" tissue paper. he's so proud. i got accepted to the accelerated program that will take a year and a half of intense work. it all can be done while cate's at school. i feel a huge weight off my shoulders, the kind of weight release when you know you did the right thing.
What an AWESOME story. Congrats to you!!
Posted by: mary | March 08, 2012 at 06:49 PM
That's my kind of answer to prayers! He knows us SO well. So excited for you and Grant and Cate. CONGRATS!! :)
ps- total blog stalker, bakersfield friend of Grants.
Posted by: Jocelyn | March 08, 2012 at 06:56 PM
Incredible, incredible, incredible! (I know; I am so articulate.) What a wonderfully fulfilling experience. I could not be happier for you.
Posted by: Heather | March 08, 2012 at 06:59 PM
oh I am so happy for you! and I wouldn't call that a little miracle at all. ;)
Posted by: amanda | March 08, 2012 at 06:59 PM
wahooo! so happy for you... and yep long time blog stalker who just couldn't be happier! (funny what brings the weirdoes out ;)
Posted by: Nichole H | March 08, 2012 at 07:13 PM
kelly!!! this is the coolest story. i'm so excited for you! congrats!
Posted by: kristinecmetcalf@gmail.com | March 08, 2012 at 07:24 PM
That is so awesome! And USC is a great school!!! Good for you!
Posted by: ellen patton | March 08, 2012 at 07:35 PM
awesome story! i read your blog A LOT but rarely comment. i just couldn't resist on this one though. answered prayers are always wonderful but having that peace given to you in such a personal way is such a testament of how God loves each of His children much more than we could ever fathom. i am constantly amazed by that truth. congrats!!
Posted by: ashley b | March 08, 2012 at 07:41 PM
congratulations kelly!! this is amazing news!!! i'm so happy for you!!!! there are not enough exclamation points in the world to write this! hehe :)
p.s. you have been in my thoughts a lot recently- perhaps this was why!!!! <3
Posted by: Lindsay | March 08, 2012 at 07:53 PM
i couldn't be prouder of you!!! You do just fight your path don't you! Is that a gene that is passed on in our family? and then i married one and birthed one. ha. love you so much! You already make such a big difference in people's lives. Heavenly Father has big plans for you, and so does mom. You are living out all of her dreams for her. She is probably so dang excited right now.
Posted by: heather | March 08, 2012 at 07:57 PM
Congratulations, Kelly! This is the happiest post to me. I love answers to prayer. I love seeing the Lord's hand in the details. Thanks for sharing such a beautiful experience. Hooray for the perfect program for you- things work out when left to the Lord!
Posted by: Christina | March 08, 2012 at 08:12 PM
Yay Kelly! That is awesome news and I'm so happy for you.
Posted by: Nat | March 08, 2012 at 08:14 PM
Goosebumps! Amazing story! Love it! Congratulations! I just love that feeling :) So happy for you! All wonderful things will come to you!
Posted by: Melissa | March 08, 2012 at 08:53 PM
Rarely comment, but couldn't pass this time.
#1--"He may not be there when you call Him, but He'll be right there on time."--so true.
#2--He knew you'd take a while to come around to acting on the prompting, that's why the program JUST came available online.
#3--What a great example for Cate to see her mom receive an answer and step in to the darkness, acting on faith.
#4--Congratulations! Those that work in social work are angels on Earth. You're to be commended for getting in to USC. Hats off to you.
Posted by: Tanya H | March 08, 2012 at 08:56 PM
Wow! How amazing! I have a MSSW from Columbia and loved every second of it. What an exciting time!
Posted by: Mary Beth | March 08, 2012 at 09:00 PM
That is such a fantastic story...congratulations!
Posted by: Nora | March 08, 2012 at 09:19 PM
So perfect. CONGRATS!!!!
Posted by: Jessica Cudzilo | March 08, 2012 at 09:31 PM
Bravo! I am so very happy for you. Sweet little tender mercies everywhere. What a cool story.
Posted by: Katri Koehle | March 08, 2012 at 09:35 PM
No way, Kelly!!! I don't even know you but somehow I'm so proud of you!
I have a special love for USC as a doctor there saved the lives of my twins while I was pregnant with them. Great school!!
Posted by: Sara | March 08, 2012 at 09:54 PM
so so stoked for you. seriously neat and inspiring and rad. YEA!!!!
Posted by: nance | March 08, 2012 at 10:00 PM
Amazing!!!!!! Congratulations!!!! What a story to get you through all that work!!!
Posted by: Lindsey | March 08, 2012 at 10:01 PM
Congrats to you!! And what a touching story. Perfect answer that you needed... I love it when things work out like that. Good luck with school!
Posted by: Meg | March 08, 2012 at 11:47 PM
Congratulations Kelly! What an amazing accomplishment. Clearly it was meant to be.
Posted by: Dana | March 09, 2012 at 12:24 AM
This is so so amazing, and exciting. And I'm not surprised because you are amazing and crazy smart and beautiful and skinny and compassionate and this is so great. I'm really happy for you!
Posted by: Sara H | March 09, 2012 at 03:04 AM
H.U.G.E miracle made of yarn! go kelly!!!
Posted by: barbara | March 09, 2012 at 07:39 AM
Oh Kelly, I don't "know" you and yet, don't I? :) I cried when I read your happy, tender mercy. The Lord certainly cares about you and you WILL accomplish your goals. Congratulations!
Posted by: Elizabeth Bryant | March 09, 2012 at 10:01 AM
I normally just lurk on your blog, but reading this post I had to comment. I almost cried I was so excited for you! Thank you for reminding me that inspiration does come.
Posted by: Jill S. | March 09, 2012 at 10:05 AM
That is an amazing story. I am really excited for you. Wow!
Posted by: bjahlstrom | March 09, 2012 at 10:06 AM
That is so exciting. I'm so happy for you! I'm also very glad you're feeling the weight off... it's so miserable to be stuck.
Posted by: shannon m | March 09, 2012 at 10:19 AM
Perfect. :)
Posted by: Kim H. | March 09, 2012 at 10:22 AM
that's an amazing story!! i would take it as an answered prayer too. good luck to you! ;)
Posted by: tasha | March 09, 2012 at 10:23 AM
That is just amazing! I love this story! CONGRATULATIONS!!! It's amazing what the Lord asks of us before we can have answers to our prayers/desires. He definitely has a plan. I'm so excited for you! It sounds like an amazing program!
Posted by: Natalie | March 09, 2012 at 10:36 AM
That is so amazing, I just got chills reading it! Congratulations to you! It's so well-deserved and you're going to do fantastic.
Posted by: Ann-Marie | March 09, 2012 at 12:15 PM
Oh, Kelly, I am so so SO happy for you. You have been such an inspiration to me and I'm sure to everyone who's been reading along your journey. Your faith, your willingness to share your vulnerabilities, the sunshine you share... I am so grateful to have found your blog those years ago. And I am so so SO happy for you.
Thanks for sharing this really beautiful story with us :)
xo,
Marilyn
Posted by: Marilyn | March 09, 2012 at 12:23 PM
Congrats! That is so exciting! I'm a knitter, too, and I would have found that equally meaningful. I love it when answers come to you in that way.
Posted by: Laura | March 09, 2012 at 02:14 PM
Congratulations, Kelly! I've been reading your blog for several years now, and always look for your good news and happy stories.
Posted by: Alix | March 09, 2012 at 02:35 PM
I have goosebumps...no such thing as coincidence....congratulations!
Posted by: Brooke harkness | March 09, 2012 at 03:09 PM
You make me cry a little, mostly because I hope you know how much your Heavenly Father is aware of you and loves you. But I probably cry a little bc I love you too!
Posted by: Rachel | March 09, 2012 at 04:03 PM
As J-Lo would say, I have "goosies"! Congratulations!!!!!!
Posted by: Jaana | March 09, 2012 at 04:11 PM
Wow - incredible story! Congratulations for the acceptance and the new level of faith!
Posted by: Emily | March 09, 2012 at 05:35 PM
Love this post. Sometimes decisions are so hard to make and you just want to do the right thing but you're not sure if it's right or not when you're in the middle of it. I'm going through that right now too. I love reading your testimony on your blog.
I finished my MSW in December. I am so grateful I went for it and did it. I felt it was right too. You will be an amazing social worker (based on what I know of you through your blog). Congratulations on your acceptance!
Posted by: Ashley S. | March 09, 2012 at 11:04 PM
That is incredible! Such a blessing! You are going to do so great especially since you don't have to go to class!
Posted by: Kirsti osborne | March 10, 2012 at 08:30 AM
My sincerest congratulations, Kelly! It pays to have faith. And now we're rivals! Go BRUINS!!!
Posted by: Rachelle | March 10, 2012 at 08:45 AM
this totally made me cry. how perfect.
Posted by: stacy hart | March 10, 2012 at 02:29 PM
WOW!!!!! I am so excited and scared for you! Go Trojans! USA was the "IT" school when I was in high school...so proud.
Posted by: glor | March 12, 2012 at 08:14 AM
So happy for you!
Posted by: Nicolle | March 12, 2012 at 10:24 AM
That just gave me chills!! congrats lady!!
Posted by: Michelle | March 12, 2012 at 04:47 PM
OH MY GOSH! One of my besties is an intro virtual teacher FOR THAT PROGRAM! She just started! Her name is Hannah Thomson! She lives right by me! Oooooh, try to get one of her classes!!!!!
How awesome and exciting for you Kelly! Yay you! Go you!
Posted by: kristen Van Dyke | March 13, 2012 at 09:36 AM
Way to go Kelly! And I can't get over how awesome this story is. He does answer prayers even at the thrift store in the form of a hand knit sweater.
Posted by: debbie | March 13, 2012 at 11:35 PM
go, girl!! i am really really really excited for you even though we don't know each other :)
Posted by: Tisha | March 14, 2012 at 12:44 PM
so my best friend found your blog after I told her my story of deciding to do social work and it's amazing how God answers prayers. I'm a student at BYU and I have NEVER wanted to do social work but he has a plan for us all and definitely individual ways of asking us to do what he wants us to do. Congrats!
Posted by: Jyssica | March 14, 2012 at 03:38 PM
I have read your blog for a long time now and have never commented. I just need to tell you that I so appreciate you sharing this very special experience. I am now waiting on the Lord to answer my prayer and give me direction. I know he will answer my prayer just like he answered yours. I have a BA in Social Work so I just want you to know that I am VERY excited for you (even though I am a complete stranger.) Congrats!! and Good Luck!
Posted by: Nicole | March 14, 2012 at 05:04 PM
congrats. what a sweet tender mercy.
Posted by: bandreoli | March 15, 2012 at 04:52 PM
congratulations! that is so awesome! what a cool story. a real live usc trojan in the reneer family. go kelly!
Posted by: leslie | March 16, 2012 at 12:17 PM
So happy for you! Love the little things in life that tell us we're doing the right thing! :)
Posted by: Meredith | March 16, 2012 at 02:29 PM
My sister in law went to that exact program and now works for the ACLU, supervising the treatment of inmates at a southern California prison. If you have any questions about the school or program, let me know. I can put the two of you in touch! Congrats and Fight On!
-Stephanie Banner
Dabannerfam@gmail.com
Posted by: Stephanie | March 20, 2012 at 04:41 PM
you always inspire me, kelly. so excited for you!
Posted by: abby | March 22, 2012 at 06:47 PM
I never feel the need to comment... but this story is amazing! Congrats to you. I really have enjoyed reading your blog over the years. You are so REAL.
Posted by: Julie | March 26, 2012 at 12:38 AM
Stumbled across your blog. It's well done. Thanks for the read.
Posted by: Katie | March 27, 2012 at 04:55 PM
if someone had been reading this post along with me, i would have totally slapped his or her back in disbelief just now. (i'm a long time/never commented reader, so hi kelly!) this story is incredible and a huge reminder to me that no matter how much i "plan" my life, god is in charge. congratulations! go trojans!
Posted by: erin | March 31, 2012 at 03:01 PM