i started blogging in 2006 with the sole intention of sharing scrapbooking pages and recording pictures and thoughts with my other friends and family who cared (about three people). we lived in a little apartment, grant was still in school, and i spent my days with a toddler and craft supplies and a camera.
soon etsy came into existence and enough people were reading that i could start making money from the stuff i was making rather than teaching piano (yuck) or cleaning toilets (yuck) like i had been doing. for the blog's part, in between updating the shop i would mostly show pictures of cate's life, domestic bliss, cooking, packaging, and would add a long rant about life here and there.
cate got older and went to school. i should've been able to just keep growing my handmade business but i am not a business woman. it is not in me. i hate networking, i hate self promotion, i hate deadlines, everything that is a part of it. etsy was a blessing in our lives because we needed the income. but grant started making more money and i started caring less about it. i declined great opportunities and was getting pretty stoked that i could just knit for myself again.
a little previous to that, grant and i became obsessed with urban homesteading. we were living in a bigger place with a yard and we had chickens and dogs and gardens and raw milk and i was working as a wellness counselor (my degree is in health and psych) to get a discount on quality food and to pass the time while cate was in school. my posting slowed down and when i did write it was a lot about wellness physically.
that was because in the etsy poor years, i was also struggling with the diagnosis of polycystic ovarian syndrome and had gained a lot of weight. i was infertile and way heavier than i ever had been and felt like crap. i shifted my whole focus from sewing quilts and blogging to the gym and sprouting. the two lives didn't seem to be able to co-exist.
now, i feel better physically. i have lost the weight. ya, my hair is still falling out, and i still have to shave my face, and i'm still infertile, but you know, you can't win them all. i am focusing on the mental health aspect of my hormone imbalance and am getting new directions for my life. i'm using this blog as a journal and sounding board more than ever, and less and less for a specific obsession or business need.
though a few patterns are still available in my etsy shop that still sell pretty regularly, i don't feel present there anymore. and though i still feel strongly about eating healthy, my physical goals have been reached, and the obsessive level needed to come down a notch or three. plus we moved out of the big yarded house. although motherhood, family life, and home domesticity are still my number one loves, i am not doing art with a toddler all day and taking pictures of it. cate is old. she wants to read a book and not have her picture taken.
it's so interesting to me the stages and directions life takes. everything always feels so permanent. but it's not. everything has changed in the blink of an eye, over and over. in the early days, i didn't even have my own car: blogging was a main mental activity of my mommy day stuck in a house. that just isn't the case anymore.
soon i will be so busy with my social work field work and masters program. will i still blog? of course, i have to. writing, expressing, sharing, recording, that's all part of who i am. maybe i'll go broke and have to stay up all night trying to make things for the etsy shop again, you never know.
i am, and have always been, so grateful for this space. to look back through my archives and remember good times, hard times, and times where i tried to sound cheerful but i was dying inside. to see progress as an individual and as a family. places we've lived, things we've done. great moments recorded. especially the support and positivity you all give me. i'm so glad i've been doing it. it's a forever thing, so, talk to you soon(ish). and it will probably be about social work. (next phase you know...)
oh yes, and thank you so much for all the congrats and kind words about that! it really gave me a confidence boost i needed. thanks!!!!