i saw a teenager with her toms cut like this and asked to look at them. she said she saw the idea on pinterest but i don't know the source. i highly recommend looking it up and cutting some canvas. especially since cate's toms lasted about a month before there were holes everywhere (are these the shoes we are paying so much for to help kids without shoes? we might want to make them a tad sturdier); i was sick of mine = perfect solution.
grant is on a church camp out, so cate and i are cozied up in bed watching star wars. it's nice. but i admit my mind is wandering to other things... stupid blogging things. i had NO idea (until today) that there are forums and websites dedicated to talking crap about bloggers. my blog certainly doesn't have the volume of readership that would land me on these boards, yet i am disturbed. people: read blogs you like and don't read blogs you don't like. it's kinda simple.
can i tell you why i blog? i don't give a crap if you think i am cool or my life is perfect or my husband is doting. i am not narcissistic (seriously i've been tested and know my diagnosis), and i really don't believe that bloggers necessarily are narcissistic, as is often assumed. my optimistic opinion is that most bloggers are simply amateur writers, philosophers, photographers, or whatever, who choose to use this medium as a hobby and way to get feedback and forge connections.
for me, it's just a creative outlet. i have/ need quite a few of those. sometimes i pay a lot of attention to one and lose interest in the others for awhile and then it switches again. such is my time here: my enthusiasm waxes and wanes, but i ultimately love to have a blog. i do keep a daily personal journal but audience writing is different. it forces me to use my brain a little more and ponder exactly how i want to say things, whether a simple what i'm up to, or deeper thoughts on my life and faith (inseperable). while my private journal is dang near unintelligible and sometimes feels like sylvia plath wrote it, here i feel the motivation to try a little harder to make some sense and edit my insane thoughts as best i'm able. read along if you like.
also in the blog mix is the visual representations of my days, which i love. i love photos! i would just adore being a magazine editor. picking pictures and stories and formats. i get to do that here. it's fun. sure, i bet some girls are just in love with the way they look and can't stop photographing themselves, but if i get that vibe and i'm not inspired by them, i simply don't read their blog. no biggie. some writers i like, some i don't, no biggie. some sites are a little commercial for my taste; if i like the content enough i'll push through it, if not, i don't. no biggie.
most important to me, i just want this body of work for my posterity. and for me to look at in my old age. yes, when i'm 90 i want to see pictures of me in my youthful motherhood happiness. i have already lost my mother and i treasure every picture of her in her youth, especially ones where i think she looks so young and fresh. they mean a lot to me to see her in her prime as i don't remember that part of her life very well. my grandma is in her 90s and struggles to remember simple aspects and people from her earlier years and it makes me sad. since i am a dedicated record keeper, these feelings naturally guide what i publish here, and i what i want photographed.
all i'm trying to say is, this whole internet life glimpses thing really isn't all that serious. do whatcha want. i want to blog. i want to read a few inspiring blogs. the end. and with that, goodnight. we're still watching star wars and we just felt a tremor in the force- gotta go check it out...
Kelly, I just wanted to write to say that I have been following your blog for years now and I can't actually remember how I happened upon it, but whole I went through fertility struggles, there were literally no people around me going through the same type of thing... I remember my first round of clomid feeling super alone and then reading about your struggles and feeling like I wasn't alone in that. With that said, I thank you for helping me through by having this blog! You bless me eventhough I dont know you. I hope as my daughter ages that she and I can have a rad relationship like you and your Cate. Plus, I think your taste is great too! (Thrifting and clotging styles and such).... anyhow please know that the impact of this blog on me, has been great :)
Posted by: Sara | April 28, 2012 at 12:16 PM
thank you sara, i try really hard to balance sharing struggles and being real with not being a snarky complainer, and trying to make life beautiful. what you said means a lot.
Posted by: kelly mccaleb | April 28, 2012 at 12:26 PM
Hello Kelly!
I just love your blog and appreciate you sharing your thoughts. I totally understand what you are saying about bloggers and I do not see you as narcissistic at all. You just seem so wonderful. Also, just so you know, Toms shoes makes sturdier shoes for the kids they send them too. I thought the same thing you did about them and then saw an interview with the owner and they showed the shoes the kids get, which are built a little differently. Anyway, I love the cut toms..such a good idea. Thanks for sharing!
Posted by: Corissa | April 28, 2012 at 05:31 PM
Oh I'm so glad to know that, thx corisa! Seems like they could extend that quality to us then, no?
Posted by: Kelly McCaleb | April 28, 2012 at 05:40 PM
i have always loved the "realness" of your blog, and i have been inspired on many different occasions about many different things. thanks for letting those of us who want to have a glimpse into your life. we all have so much to learn from each other, and i love how this whole blogging thing can do exactly that. thank you thank you!
ps... i got a haircut from your sis last weekend, and you weren't kidding. she is great!!
Posted by: Jennifer | April 29, 2012 at 12:35 AM
You hit the nail on the head! Blog hating and nasty comments never made sense to me. No one is forcing you to read a blog. If you don't like it go elsewhere.
Blogs can be an amazing outlet. You're in Utah, I'm in Philadelphia. Our paths would never cross otherwise but through your blog I have taken so much comfort. As a woman who has dealt with anxiety/depression all her life it has truly been a blessing to read about your experiences. Before you I had never heard anyone else talk about struggling with depression in childhood. It made me feel less alone to hear you describe what that was like for you.
Thanks for all you share. You really are a brave and beautiful woman!
Posted by: Chrissy | April 29, 2012 at 09:47 AM
What a great post! I agree completely and feel much the same way about my own blog. It is sad that some will attack others so personally- I've never quite understood it. It seems pretty simple to me- if you don't like it or agree with it- don't read it!
Posted by: bethall@gmail.com | April 29, 2012 at 03:15 PM
chrissy- you're rad. thank you for making me feel not foolish for over sharing.
beth- i am convinced the only motive that would cause one to do it is jealousy. i can't think of a single other reason. get a life of your own, right?!
Posted by: kelly mccaleb | April 29, 2012 at 08:45 PM
jennifer- oh good! i know i couldn't live without her. i love to learn from other people too, that's the only reason i read blogs. to be inspired, and have learning moments. i only read a few, but it's about positivity.
Posted by: kelly mccaleb | April 29, 2012 at 08:48 PM
I agree with you 100%! Loved this post! :)
Posted by: Natalie | April 29, 2012 at 11:09 PM
amen :)
Posted by: angie | April 29, 2012 at 11:30 PM
Love. Love. Love. I second that amen.
Posted by: Marie | April 30, 2012 at 09:27 AM
I was disappointed to hear about that too... The ugly/trash-other-people blog thing happened in the scrapbooking world and was a major reason why I stopped putting myself out there, both with blogging and scrapbooking. It felt so awful to know that people were out there waiting to trash you for anything you said, to take your beauty and make it ugly.
Recently, I've realized that I really really miss that outlet, that I've kind of been dying inside by keeping myself mute. (and letting important memories be undocumented and forgotten). I'm pushing through that fear and trying to be open and honest. You're my mentor. :) First blog I look at. You're just you. No apologies, no show, you show up here if you feel like it, you stay away if you don't. But when you show up, you really do. Love that about you. :) Thanks for that.
Posted by: shannon m | April 30, 2012 at 11:00 AM
shannon,
that's true about the scrapbooking world, i remember that- good point. i think it might be why i stopped too, i thought the whole industry was so lame. and i really really miss it too. let's do some pages, shall we?? haha. thank you for what you said about my blog. that is my goal. authenticity. thank you for making me feel i'm achieving that. thank you. did i say thank you?
Posted by: kelly mccaleb | April 30, 2012 at 11:07 AM
Amen. amen. and amen. How about a hallelujah chorus! Well said.
Posted by: Daisy Reyes | April 30, 2012 at 10:24 PM
Yes, let's do some pages! You go first. :)
Posted by: shannon m | May 01, 2012 at 05:59 PM
LIKE
Posted by: glor | May 01, 2012 at 08:30 PM
Kelly, you are so inspiring and real! I love your blog. You make so much sense and you help me feel normal. Thank you for sharing all these things. P.S- I want to go thrift store shopping with you. xoxo
Posted by: hooky booby :) | May 07, 2012 at 11:18 AM