my happy little life

and if tomorrow i'm an apple seller too, i don't need anything but you

can i just tell you i'm really excited to pick some prints to order next week at justin's office? he blogged about us here. (one note: the doctor said really really hard, not never. so he was right on, it turned out).

i have been so grumpy. this weekend should be fun, i hope i don't ruin it. we have been anxiously awaiting seeing brave, and we're going tonight. tomorrow evening we have tickets to go see real salt lake play (soccer). all fun and good family time. but probably i won't be able to relax because i have so many papers due.

right this second cate and i are watching annie with breakfast. (that was my favorite movie as a kid- seriously have every word, every movement, memorized. i was obsessssssed). annie just sang her solo to the president and a weird salty discharge is starting to drip from my eyes. whaaaa?

kelly remember: stick up your chin and grin and hang on till tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow. the papers will get done, your bathroom will someday be clean again. have a fun weekend. write your papers in the middle of the night if you have to, who cares. what's the worst that can happen? accidently ending sentences with prepositions? have 11 instead of 12 recent empirically researched papers to support my statements with? who cares.

ps- the comments from my last post were so kind. thank you. i replied to them in the comment section. have a wonderful and carefree weekend, friends.

but i look like i'm talking about happy things

this evening grant was relaxing on the bed when he got home from work, and i was at the foot of said bed telling him about my day. (you are so lucky you are not him and therefore don't have to hear my daily diatribes about seriously debbie downer topics). today's freakout: 1/4 of U.S. high security prisoners are severely mentally ill living in inhumane conditions for sick people that makes them sicker. but when they get out they kill people because they think they are aliens sent to attack their family and are homeless and don't take their meds and go back to prison. mental asylums were closed long ago. it didn't save us money- it's just going into the ill-equipped prison system now. make my blood stop boiling, please.

grant, smart man that he is, has learned to half listen and half play on his phone. win-win (i really don't need feedback, just an audience). today while i ranted he took pictures of me and said i looked pretty. then i forgot what i was ranting about and cozied him. he knows just how to handle me.

it reminded me of dating. i used to test boys right off by being super intense about subjects to see if it scared them away or if they enjoyed the debate. (in truth, it was less of a test and more just who i am). people told me i'd never get married that way, it wasn't feminine or fun. but i am both feminine and fun- i just need someone who can handle my mouth, too. (i love the movie ever after so much). those people were right, though, that a lot of boys didn't like it. screw 'em, i said.

then, one day i met grant. he was immediately subjected to my ridiculously verbose views about something or other. he relaxed on my couch with his hands behind his head and said with a cool smile, "calm down". i was smitten. he wasn't intimidated and he didn't care. of course he could shut my mouth and school me when he wanted to, but mostly he just liked to make me laugh. and i fell hard in love.

love

cate and i had a photo shoot with justin hackworth today as part of his 30 strangers project. he posted this shot on facebook and i was in instant tears. i LOVE that child. i LOVE being her mother.

dear kelly,

^_(image)

you are having some hard days and stress.

you are in need of some perspective.

you are doing so good keeping up on deadlines.

you are spending plenty of quality time with cate.

you are keeping the house and clothes clean!

you are taking time for yoga and the pool.

you are studying the scriptures before textbooks.

you are doing stuff like oil changes and washing cars!

you are getting high marks on papers.

you are sleeping well and panic is low.

you are sure you are on the right path for you.

you are right to put off blogging and etsy.

you are getting dinner on the table most nights.

you are going on dates with grant every weekend.

you are getting more than 100 lines on tetris always.

you are doing just fine.

you are okay to ease up on yourself a bit.