33. it snuck up on me.
amd it's just going to be a normal day.
(i guess i'm an adult now).
i have had the weirdest two months of my life.
not the hardest, just really weird and foggy.
i have either been recovering from a
stone removal surgery because it was too big to pass,
or trying to pass one in major pain.
it's been a fog of pain pills and exasperation.
usually i would have fun plans, i love bdays-
but i forgot to make any.
i think i'll just go thrifting,
but i do that most days anyway.
and grant is leaving on a business trip.
we said we'll just pretend my bday is this weekend,
and we'll celebrate with friends then.
and that's just fine with me.
next monday i have a third
(and final, fingers crossed) stone removal.
everytime i have an appointment to have them blasted,
the stone drops and we have to do surgery instead.
weird, weird few months.
i haven't really worked. i have watched a lot of movies.
sounds great, right?
nope. it gets pretty boring.
and i'm already prone to isolation,
but this has really made it extra bad.
grant requested i not be a debbie downer
on what should be a happy, non-dramatic day.
oh, and i should be launching this year's
but honestly, i can't handle it until my
hospital visits are complete.
so that's on hold- until i can pull my head out.
in defiance of the no debbie downer rule,
can longingly say that
all i want for my bday this year is this?
that's not too much to ask, is it?
(from my favorite blog i can't understand: ledansla)
and finally, in the words of samantha baker:
no, i didn't expect to wake up transformed,
i just thought turning 
would be so major that
i would wake up with an improved
mental state that would show on my face.
all that shows is that i don't have
any sort of a tan left.
i know everyone says they love john hughes' movies and know every line, but i really really seriously do. my little sister and i still, everyday, at ages 31 and 26, quote 16 candles and weird science (etc.) more than we have original thoughts in our conversations. every time she calls me i answer, "may i help you?" like the french dude in ferris bueller. every time we do something fun we say "yeah man, we got to do this again!" like the car attendants who took the ferrari. we can both say "jaaaake" just like farmer ted does from under the glass table. we have discussed on several occasions that we would both answer "john hughes" to the question, "if you could meet any celebrity/ pick anyone's brain, who would it be?" we have looked up his sceenplays online and read them just to see his brilliance on paper- did you know he writes the scripts so detailed down to what sound effects he wants in the background? anyway, this is a long-winded way to say i'm sad john hughes died. thanks, mr. hughes, for helping me laugh out my teen angst. and for supplying tbs with movies to play all day on saturdays from the years 1992-1997 while i laid around. "screws fall out all the time sir, the world's an imperfect place..."