i saw a teenager with her toms cut like this and asked to look at them. she said she saw the idea on pinterest but i don't know the source. i highly recommend looking it up and cutting some canvas. especially since cate's toms lasted about a month before there were holes everywhere (are these the shoes we are paying so much for to help kids without shoes? we might want to make them a tad sturdier); i was sick of mine = perfect solution.
grant is on a church camp out, so cate and i are cozied up in bed watching star wars. it's nice. but i admit my mind is wandering to other things... stupid blogging things. i had NO idea (until today) that there are forums and websites dedicated to talking crap about bloggers. my blog certainly doesn't have the volume of readership that would land me on these boards, yet i am disturbed. people: read blogs you like and don't read blogs you don't like. it's kinda simple.
can i tell you why i blog? i don't give a crap if you think i am cool or my life is perfect or my husband is doting. i am not narcissistic (seriously i've been tested and know my diagnosis), and i really don't believe that bloggers necessarily are narcissistic, as is often assumed. my optimistic opinion is that most bloggers are simply amateur writers, philosophers, photographers, or whatever, who choose to use this medium as a hobby and way to get feedback and forge connections.
for me, it's just a creative outlet. i have/ need quite a few of those. sometimes i pay a lot of attention to one and lose interest in the others for awhile and then it switches again. such is my time here: my enthusiasm waxes and wanes, but i ultimately love to have a blog. i do keep a daily personal journal but audience writing is different. it forces me to use my brain a little more and ponder exactly how i want to say things, whether a simple what i'm up to, or deeper thoughts on my life and faith (inseperable). while my private journal is dang near unintelligible and sometimes feels like sylvia plath wrote it, here i feel the motivation to try a little harder to make some sense and edit my insane thoughts as best i'm able. read along if you like.
also in the blog mix is the visual representations of my days, which i love. i love photos! i would just adore being a magazine editor. picking pictures and stories and formats. i get to do that here. it's fun. sure, i bet some girls are just in love with the way they look and can't stop photographing themselves, but if i get that vibe and i'm not inspired by them, i simply don't read their blog. no biggie. some writers i like, some i don't, no biggie. some sites are a little commercial for my taste; if i like the content enough i'll push through it, if not, i don't. no biggie.
most important to me, i just want this body of work for my posterity. and for me to look at in my old age. yes, when i'm 90 i want to see pictures of me in my youthful motherhood happiness. i have already lost my mother and i treasure every picture of her in her youth, especially ones where i think she looks so young and fresh. they mean a lot to me to see her in her prime as i don't remember that part of her life very well. my grandma is in her 90s and struggles to remember simple aspects and people from her earlier years and it makes me sad. since i am a dedicated record keeper, these feelings naturally guide what i publish here, and i what i want photographed.
all i'm trying to say is, this whole internet life glimpses thing really isn't all that serious. do whatcha want. i want to blog. i want to read a few inspiring blogs. the end. and with that, goodnight. we're still watching star wars and we just felt a tremor in the force- gotta go check it out...
